


how do we fall in love

by jaldon



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, semi-oblivious lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 12:20:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15863511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaldon/pseuds/jaldon
Summary: Steph wonders what it is to be without a soulmark.She wonders what it must be like to be without the mark that promises: yes, there is someone out there who is capable of loving you fully. Yes, there is someone perfect for you. You are not alone.She can’t imagine it.





	how do we fall in love

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIX!!! ILY!
> 
> also im so sorry that this is bad i wrote a lot of it last night because i wanted it to be up today so that's where we're at.
> 
> title is from the song "river" by bishop briggs.

When Stephanie Brown gets back to the Clock Tower, Cass is already there, which is a surprise in itself. Usually, Cass is out until the sky is turning blue, and by Steph’s watch it’s only 3:53 AM. 

Cass is sitting on one of Barbara’s chairs, sans the top half of her uniform. There’s a black tank top, but no cowl or armor. 

She’s also bloody. 

Usually, due to their line of work, this wouldn’t be worrying, but the blood is clearly coming from Cass’s uncovered arm. And Cass doesn’t get  _ injured _ . 

“Shit, Cassie,” Steph says, as she pulls herself in through the window. “What happened to you?” 

Cass grunts in reply. “Got distracted.”

It’s bullshit, and both of them know it. Cass doesn’t get distracted the way most people get distracted. Cass knows everything that’s going on, and once she’s in a rhythm there’s nothing that can throw her off of it. Stephanie has to stop herself from rolling her eyes. “Yeah, okay,” she finally says, pulling off her cowl and gloves. “You need any help with that cut?” 

Cass shakes her head. It’s what Steph expected, but that doesn’t stop the disappointed little twinge in her gut. Maybe, if Cass let her help her sometime, then she would realize that Steph wasn’t as useless as everyone seemed to thing. 

Babs rolls back in, carrying some disinfectant and a roll of bandages in her lap. When she gets to Cass’s side, she nods at Steph. “How was your patrol?” 

“Fine,” Steph says, and when Cass cocks her head she continues, “I finished up the Tetch case.” She had been surprised, earlier, when Bruce had let her take it. Some sort of test, she presumed, and she thinks she’s right because Cass shoots her a small smile and Babs nods thoughtfully. 

“Good job,” Babs says to her, and to Cass, “Come over here, I need to bandage that arm of yours.” 

A small gasp from Barbara pulls Steph’s attention away from the hood of her costume she’s been fiddling with, and she hops down from the windowsill to see what the matter is. Her mind skips to the worst— perhaps the wound is infected, or Cass is otherwise injured. Instead, she’s greeted by a scar: a large, angry, raised patch of skin that could only come from a burn. By the way the skin is warped around it, Steph can tell that it isn’t recent, but it’s shocking nonetheless. 

“What’s this from?” Steph asks slowly. 

Cass looks up. “Cain,” she says finally, but that’s not really what Steph meant to ask. The burn is clearly to cover something, and she has a sinking feeling what it is. But even he wouldn’t— 

“Why?” Barbara says for both of them. 

Cass reaches up and touches her shoulder, tracing the edges of the area. “Soulmark,” she says simply. “Said… no connections.” 

Steph shudders, and has to keep herself from reaching for her own soulmark on the side of her stomach. Soulmarks are a connection to the deepest part of a person, the part that loves. Your mark matches with your soulmates, and the marks often help each other find theirs. That man— Cass’s father— had burned away anything that could connect Cass to someone who loved her. It makes Steph sick. 

“Shit, Cass,” she says softly, “I’m sorry.” 

Wordlessly, her face tighter than before, Babs picks up the bandages. 

-

Steph wonders what it is to be without a soulmark. 

She wonders what it must be like to be without the mark that promises: yes, there is someone out there who is capable of loving you fully. Yes, there is someone perfect for you. You are not alone. 

She can’t imagine it. 

(Her whole life, she’s relied on the small mark on the side of her stomach. She’s always found comfort in the pattern: shivering on the bleachers in the rain when her mom forgot to pick her up from soccer practice, pressing herself against the wall of her closet wondering whether her father was finally going to make good on any of his threats, going to the drug store to refill her mother’s prescriptions, standing and listening to Bruce yell about how irresponsible she is. 

No, she can not imagine what it would be like to not have the small pattern printed on her skin to guide her through her worst days.)

Logically, she knows that it is no different from having one. The marks don’t dictate who your soulmate is, they just show it. Cass still has a soulmate, it’s just not displayed on her body. 

And that makes it difficult, doesn’t it? Or maybe it makes it easier. 

Is it better to wander blindly for what fate calls your true partner, or try to make it work with someone who isn’t, like her parents did? 

When she thinks about it, she realizes that she doesn’t know any soulmates. 

-

She and Cass start going out on patrol together more often. They make a pretty good team, Steph thinks, and two heads tend to be better than one. They’re Batgirl and the Spoiler, and there’s no crime that they can’t stop, especially with Oracle in their ears. 

Batman, of course, is less thrilled. 

“I think B hates me,” she confesses to Cass, swinging her legs against the side of Wayne Tower. They’re sitting on the ledge of the roof, just talking. Steph loves it when they do this, just like she loves every bit of Cass. 

Cass studies her for a moment. “Hates you? No,” she says, in her all-knowing voice. “Just… worried.” 

“Worried,” she repeats, and Cass nods earnestly. The wind whips Cass’s short hair across her face. It’s pretty cute, if Steph is being honest. “He’s pretty shit at showing it,” she says. 

Cass just smiles and nods. “Yes. But that doesn’t make it less.”

“Maybe,” Steph says with a sigh. “It’s just… It’s like he doesn’t trust me. Like he thinks I’m my dad, or that I’m gonna betray him, or that I’m a stupid brat who’s gonna get everyone hurt!” Thinking about the way that Bruce and even Tim have treated her makes her blood boil. 

Cass presses her palm to her own heart, and then moves it to Steph’s. Her heart is electric under Cass’s hand, a million beats per minute and it still isn’t going quite as fast as her mind. She leans into the touch. 

“I can take care of myself,” Steph insists. She knows that she’s right; she can keep herself and the people of Gotham safe without Bruce breathing down her neck and demanding she surrender her costume every other night. 

“Yes,” Cass replies, and then she reaches over to pull on one of Steph’s curls. “But… help is good.” She puts her hand on Steph’s shoulder. 

“Yours is,” Steph says, turning to face her. The wind is rushing around them, or maybe it’s just in Steph’s head. Without looking away from Cass, she can see the city stretched out far below them. She shivers. “It’s cold.” 

Cass scoots closer towards her, and without even meaning to, Steph tilts her head. In a stroke of courage she presses forwards until their lips are touching. She feels Cass go still, her hand tighten. Steph leans into the kiss, the electricity of her heart thrumming in her lips. And  _ shit _ , she’s kissing Cass Cain, Girl Wonder and it’s just as terrifying as she thought it would be. Because, she realizes, she’s thought about this before. 

She pulls away, nearly sending herself over the edge of the roof in her dizziness, and stands up. She tries not to look at Cass, who probably hates her by now, and says, “We should get back to the cave. Don’t want to give B another reason to hate me.” 

-

She’s just leaving the cave’s showers (which are infinitely better than the ones in her own home) as Cass is entering, which is just her luck. She’s halfway dressed, wearing shorts and a sports bra, and in the process of stuffing her spoiler outfit into her bag to bring home. 

Cass is staring at her. No, she’s staring at the swirling brown mark on the side of her stomach. Her soulmark. She tries desperately not to wonder what Cass’s looked like as she tugs on a shirt and grabs her bag to go home. 

She misses the way Cass watches her as she goes: yearning, and slightly melancholy. 

-

It’s a couple of nights later when she wakes up to Cass in her room. Trying to wake herself up, she says, “What’s up?” 

“Hello,” Cass says quietly, and then passes her a piece of paper. She’s in the Batgirl suit, but she’s not wearing the cowl, so she can see her face. 

“Something I have to read for you?” Steph asks. “Can’t you get Oracle to do this? So you don’t have to wake me up?” But Cass is already here, so she unfolds the note anyways. 

It’s not words, as Steph expected, but a drawing, and after staring at it for a moment, she recognizes it. It’s a perfect likeness of the mark that decorates her side. 

“Cass?” she asks, “What is this?” 

Cass looks at her, wide-eyed. “Soulmark.” 

“Yeah,” Steph replies, “it’s my soulmark. But  _ why _ did you bring me this?” 

Cass crosses the room and sits down on the bed next to her in one fluid motion. Gently, she takes the piece of paper from her, and smooths it against her leg. She looks nervous, Steph realizes, and Cass never looks nervous. 

“Not just yours,” Cass says. 

“Yeah,” Steph says. “Someone else has it, too. My soulmate.” 

“Not just yours,” Cass repeats, and brings the paper up to her shoulder. The world slows down, and Steph thinks about every interaction they’ve had. The patrols, the sleepovers, the trust they built, the secrets they shared, the blood they spilled for eachother. She remembers and she reevaluates. 

“Cassandra,” she says, getting to her feet and pulling Cass up with her, “is this you telling me that we’re soulmates?” 

This time, it’s Cass that leans in. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! pls leave kudos/comments! 
> 
> my tumblr is [here](https://wusans.tumblr.com)


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